Tools and Techniques
When life gets busy, we often forget to take time for ourselves. Building self-care into our weekly routine, finding activities that really make us feel good improves our resilience and reduces the risk of becoming burnt out!
Here are some self-care activities we can try – pick a few out that we can incorporate into our daily or weekly routine. The purpose of self-care activities is finding what is important as an individual and what makes us feel good.
Here are some self-care activities we can try – pick a few out that we can incorporate into our daily or weekly routine. The purpose of self-care activities is finding what is important as an individual and what makes us feel good.
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Journaling
Writing a journal does not always have to begin with Dear Diary. As children we wrote our worries in our diaries without judgement. It always felt good to get those thoughts down on to paper. The concepts still apply, although now it is called journaling.
Journals are all about exploration. It allows us to investigate who we are; how we feel and how we think. Seeing this on paper gives us more insight, improves reflection and increases our self-awareness.
Becoming self-aware helps to stay grounded no matter what is going on in the world around us. Journals can benefit everyone in some way but especially if we are struggling with anxiety, depression or stress. Keeping a journal is a great tool to use to gain control and improve our mental health and wellbeing. Journals are an amazing tool to help us recognize our self-destructive behaviors and highlight our negative thought patterns. This allows us to reflect and improve ourselves daily, weekly or monthly.
Forget about being a good writer, this is for our eyes only. Our journal is a private place where we can offload. It requires habit so pick a time of the day that we feel inspired most. Sometimes we may write for a minute or other time an hour. There are many ways to journal, we can journal in bullet points or even use art to express our thoughts and emotions. Make it original!
Journals are all about exploration. It allows us to investigate who we are; how we feel and how we think. Seeing this on paper gives us more insight, improves reflection and increases our self-awareness.
Becoming self-aware helps to stay grounded no matter what is going on in the world around us. Journals can benefit everyone in some way but especially if we are struggling with anxiety, depression or stress. Keeping a journal is a great tool to use to gain control and improve our mental health and wellbeing. Journals are an amazing tool to help us recognize our self-destructive behaviors and highlight our negative thought patterns. This allows us to reflect and improve ourselves daily, weekly or monthly.
Forget about being a good writer, this is for our eyes only. Our journal is a private place where we can offload. It requires habit so pick a time of the day that we feel inspired most. Sometimes we may write for a minute or other time an hour. There are many ways to journal, we can journal in bullet points or even use art to express our thoughts and emotions. Make it original!
HERE ARE SOME PROMPT QUESTIONS IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING.
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BENEFITS OF JOURNALING
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478 BREATHING TECHNIQUE
This technique is also known as relaxation breathing. We should only practice this technique when you are in an environment that we are fully prepared to relax.
The following steps should be carried out in the cycle of one breath:
When we inhale again, we are starting a new breathing cycle. Practice this relaxing breathing for four cycles.
The following steps should be carried out in the cycle of one breath:
- Let our lip’s part, make a whooshing sound, exhaling out of our mouths.
- Close our lips, inhaling silently through our nose and count to four in our head.
- Then for seven seconds, hold our breath.
- Make another whooshing exhale from our mouth for eight seconds.
When we inhale again, we are starting a new breathing cycle. Practice this relaxing breathing for four cycles.
BASIC MINDFULNESS MEDITATION
- Find a quiet place.
- Sit on a comfortable chair or cushion, with our backs straight, and our hands resting on the tops of our upper legs.
- Close our eyes and breathe in through our nose, allowing the air downward into our lower belly. Let our abdomen expand fully.
- Breathe out through our mouth.
- Focus on one aspect of our breathing, such as the sensations of air flowing into our nostrils and out of our mouths, or our bellys rising and falling as we inhale and exhale.
- If our minds start to wander, just return our focus to our breathing with no judgment.
- Try to meditate 3 or 4 times per week for 10 minutes per day. Every minute counts.
BOX BREATHING
Box breathing, also known as square breathing is a technique used when taking deep, slow breaths. It improves concentration and is known to reduce stress. Before we start ensure we are sitting upright in a comfortable position with our feet on the floor. Find a quiet relaxed environment that allows us to focus. Keeping our palms on our knees facing up and sit up in a straight posture.
If this is the first-time practicing box breathing, practice this for four cycles. We may experience some dizziness. This is normal, stay seated for a minute and resume normal breathing. Practicing box breathing throughout the day helps to keep us calm and relieves stress.
Box breathing, also known as square breathing is a technique used when taking deep, slow breaths. It improves concentration and is known to reduce stress. Before we start ensure we are sitting upright in a comfortable position with our feet on the floor. Find a quiet relaxed environment that allows us to focus. Keeping our palms on our knees facing up and sit up in a straight posture.
- Slowly exhale through our mouths allow the oxygen to leave your lungs. Focus and set our intention, be conscious of your breathing.
- Inhale slowly to the count of four, count to four slowly in your head. Feel the air fill up in our lungs, one section at a time until our lungs are full and the air moves into our abdomens.
- Hold our breath for another slow count of four.
- Exhale through our mouths for the same slow count of four, release all the air from our lungs and abdomens.
- Hold our breath for the same count of four before repeating this process.
If this is the first-time practicing box breathing, practice this for four cycles. We may experience some dizziness. This is normal, stay seated for a minute and resume normal breathing. Practicing box breathing throughout the day helps to keep us calm and relieves stress.
WAYS TO REDUCE YOUR WORRIES
It is hard to have a productive day when our days are consumed by anxieties and worries. They can easily distract us from school, work or home life. This is when creating a set time for worrying can help us. I have found that rather than trying to banish that worry from our heads. Instead set a specific time in the day for it. Preferably not at night because you do not want to go to bed with a head full of worries.
Going over our list during “worry time” – If the list of worries we wrote down are still bothering us, we can read over them. If you approach worries this way, we may find it easier. We may feel more relaxed and more rational in our thinking to be able to resolve our worries. If some of our worries no longer seem as important, we’ll be able to remove them from your list and move on with our day
- Create a “worry time” – Select a time of the day and place for worrying. For consistency it should be the same time everyday for example (the kitchen at 4:00-4:30pm). During this time, we can think about any worries we may have on your minds, however the rest of your day is a worry-free zone.
- Record our worries – At any other time of the day when a worry or anxious thought comes into our heads, take a quick note of it and then continue on with the day. We should remind ourselves that we will have time to think about it during our “worry period” so its ok not to think about it right now. Also writing down the thoughts, whether that is on our phone or notebook is harder than just thinking them. The unnecessary worries sometimes then lose their power.
Going over our list during “worry time” – If the list of worries we wrote down are still bothering us, we can read over them. If you approach worries this way, we may find it easier. We may feel more relaxed and more rational in our thinking to be able to resolve our worries. If some of our worries no longer seem as important, we’ll be able to remove them from your list and move on with our day
CHALLENGING ANXIOUS THOUGHTS
During our “worry time” challenge the negative thoughts, ask ourselves these questions:
REALIZING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOLVABLE AND UNSOLVABLE WORRIES?
We have all done our fair share of worrying. When we do it distracts us from the anxious emotions, and we feel like we are doing something to help it. Although worrying and problem solving are quite different things.
Problem solving involves thinking about a situation and coming up with a plan to tackle the problem, and then putting that plan into action. When we are worrying though, we rarely have any solutions. No matter how much we dwell on our worst worries we are no better equipped to deal with them!
Are our worries solvable?
We can make solvable worries productive, if we are worrying about missing a deadline on an exam – we could contact our lecturer and ask for an extension to give us more time to prepare our work to submit.
Unproductive worries that are unsolvable such as “What if I get sick one day or what if someone I know gets into an accident”.
If our worries are solvable that’s great – start brainstorming. We can make a list of all possible solutions. Focus our time on the things that we have control over and can change. We could also share these worries with a friend or loved one you trust to see if an outsider’s perspective can help. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. Once we put our plan into action and are dealing with it we will feel less anxious.
If our worries are unsolvable – If we are anxious and experience chronic worrying a lot of our thoughts may fall into this section, but that’s ok. We often worry to try and protect ourselves or find out what is going to happen in uncertain situations. The problem is this doesn’t work. When we think about all the things that could go wrong in life, it will never make it any more predictable. When we focus on negative outcomes it will only stop us from enjoying life and the present moment.
Here are some things we can do to help this:
HOW TO INTERUPT THOSE WORRY CYCLES!
If our heads are always busy, and we cannot get away from those worrying thoughts – let’s try and interrupt those thought patterns and give our minds a distraction and a break!
The benefits of breathing exercises – Just Inhaling and exhaling can make drastic changes to our lives. Practicing these techniques often and mindfully will not only enhance our physical health but our mental health also. Try to practice these techniques every day and not only when we are feeling anxious. If we only practice breathing techniques when we’re anxious, we will not feel the full benefits of the exercise.
Here are some of the benefits:
During our “worry time” challenge the negative thoughts, ask ourselves these questions:
- What is the evidence that this thought is true? Or that it’s not true?
- What is the chance that what I am worrying about will actually happen? Is the probability low?
- Is this worry helpful? How will thinking about this help me or even hurt me?
- What would I say to a friend who was having this worry?
- Is there a more positive way to look at this situation?
REALIZING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SOLVABLE AND UNSOLVABLE WORRIES?
We have all done our fair share of worrying. When we do it distracts us from the anxious emotions, and we feel like we are doing something to help it. Although worrying and problem solving are quite different things.
Problem solving involves thinking about a situation and coming up with a plan to tackle the problem, and then putting that plan into action. When we are worrying though, we rarely have any solutions. No matter how much we dwell on our worst worries we are no better equipped to deal with them!
Are our worries solvable?
We can make solvable worries productive, if we are worrying about missing a deadline on an exam – we could contact our lecturer and ask for an extension to give us more time to prepare our work to submit.
Unproductive worries that are unsolvable such as “What if I get sick one day or what if someone I know gets into an accident”.
If our worries are solvable that’s great – start brainstorming. We can make a list of all possible solutions. Focus our time on the things that we have control over and can change. We could also share these worries with a friend or loved one you trust to see if an outsider’s perspective can help. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. Once we put our plan into action and are dealing with it we will feel less anxious.
If our worries are unsolvable – If we are anxious and experience chronic worrying a lot of our thoughts may fall into this section, but that’s ok. We often worry to try and protect ourselves or find out what is going to happen in uncertain situations. The problem is this doesn’t work. When we think about all the things that could go wrong in life, it will never make it any more predictable. When we focus on negative outcomes it will only stop us from enjoying life and the present moment.
Here are some things we can do to help this:
- Ask our friends and family how they cope with uncertain situations?
- Recognizing our emotions and being in tune with ourselves allows us to accept our emotions even the ones that don’t feel right or make sense.
- We tend to think of worst-case scenarios just because they are uncertain? What is the likelihood they would happen?
- If the likelihood is low? Is it realistic that we could live with this small chance of something negative happening?
HOW TO INTERUPT THOSE WORRY CYCLES!
If our heads are always busy, and we cannot get away from those worrying thoughts – let’s try and interrupt those thought patterns and give our minds a distraction and a break!
- EXERCISE – is a natural stress buster and anti-anxiety treatment! Because it releases those feel-good endorphins which reduce stress and tension, boosts our sense of wellbeing and increases our energy! Focusing on our bodies and how it feels when you move can interrupt those constant worries.
- Meditation – Follow one of the meditation guides/videos attached below. Being present in the moment interrupts negative thoughts and worries. Choose one of the videos that feels relaxing to engage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_yaNFSYao
- Progressive muscle relaxation – Follow one of the PMR guides/videos attached below. This allows us to focus on our body instead of our mind. Tensing and releasing different muscle groups helps to relieve tension in the body, as the body relaxes the mind will follow in time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z21Xslddz3Y
- Deep breathing exercises – Try out one of the breathing exercises attached below. This will help to calm our minds and reduce negative thoughts. When we are anxious, we tend to breathe quicker. Following these exercises allows us to take back control of our breathing which will calm our central nervous system and reduce any anxieties. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEmt1Znux58
The benefits of breathing exercises – Just Inhaling and exhaling can make drastic changes to our lives. Practicing these techniques often and mindfully will not only enhance our physical health but our mental health also. Try to practice these techniques every day and not only when we are feeling anxious. If we only practice breathing techniques when we’re anxious, we will not feel the full benefits of the exercise.
Here are some of the benefits:
- NATURAL PAINKILLER FOR OUR BODY
- IMPROVES BLOOD FLOW
- IMPROVES OUR IMMUNE SYSTEM
- REDUCES ANXIETY
- IMPROVES SLEEP QUALITY
- REDUCES INFLAMMATION
- RELAXES OUR BODY AND MIND
- IMPROVES COGNITION AND MIND CLARITY
SLEEP HYGIENE
By paying attention to our “sleep hygiene” we are on the right path to getting a good night’s sleep. Good sleep hygiene means not only having a calming bedroom environment but carrying out daily routines that help promote deep uninterrupted sleep. By keeping a consistent sleep schedule, making our sleep environment comfortable and getting rid of any disruptions. Applying a relaxing pre-bedtime routine and creating a healthy structure during the day can all contribute to having good sleep hygiene. We are all different. Finding out what works best for us to create our own sleep hygiene plan is essential.
Here are some tips to help solidify that good sleeping routine. Having a schedule in place is important as it allows our body and brain to become normalized to getting the right amount of sleep.
Establishing a night-time routine
Embrace healthy daily habits
It is not only bedtime habits that are a part of having good sleep hygiene. Introducing positive habits during the day supports your circadian rhythm. Circadian rhythm is the body’s 24-hour cycles that make up our body’s internal clock which runs to carry out essential functions and processes. When properly aligned our circadian rhythm promotes consistent and restorative sleep. When it messed up it can create significant sleep problems such as insomnia.
Here are some tips to help solidify that good sleeping routine. Having a schedule in place is important as it allows our body and brain to become normalized to getting the right amount of sleep.
- Pick a set wake up time – Whether it’s a weekday or weekend, try and wake up around the same time. The more our schedule fluctuates, the tougher we will find it to get into a routine of consistent sleep.
- Making Sleep a priority – Skipping sleep to socialize or in order to study may be tempting but getting enough sleep is vital. Work out a time for bedtime, based on our fixed wake up time and try to stick to that routine each night.
- Not too many naps – Napping can be amazing, sometimes a nap at the right time can boost our energy and increase our productivity. Although napping too much can throw off our sleep at night. If napping is essential, try keep them relatively short and in the morning/afternoon.
- Changing our sleep times – If you feel like changing wake up or bedtime times, do it gradually. If it’s changed quickly, we can throw off your full schedule. Make small adjustments and allow our brain and body to settle into your new routine.
Establishing a night-time routine
- Set a bedtime routine- Keeping our bedtime routine consistent is key. Follow the same steps each night. Things that are relaxing and important such as brushing our teeth, skincare, putting on our pajamas. These will remind your brain that its bedtime.
- Set aside 30 minutes for relaxation: Find what makes us feel most relaxed and allow our bodies to feel calm. Try stretching, winding down reading a book, listening to an audio book or writing in our journal.
- Dim the lights: Keeping away from bright lights at bedtime is a beneficial as they can affect the production of melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone that regulates our night/day cycles and sleep/wake cycle. Darkness allows our body to produce more melatonin which signals to prepares our body for sleep. Some people who may have trouble sleeping for prolonged amounts of time may have low melatonin levels. If were concerned about having low melatonin levels, contact our family doctor for some advice before taking any supplements.
- Find what works best: Try out different relaxation methods, instead of making falling sleep your goal, its easier to focus on relaxation. Practice meditation: mindfulness, 478 breathing, box breathing, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) and see which one is preferred. All these techniques will help to relax our body and calm your mind which aids deep sleep. (All of these relaxation techniques can be found in our tips and tools)
- If we cannot sleep, get back up: Do not toss and turn, try to have a healthy relationship with our bed and actually being asleep. If we cannot sleep, get up out of your bed stretch, read or do something to stay calm before trying to go back to sleep again.
Embrace healthy daily habits
It is not only bedtime habits that are a part of having good sleep hygiene. Introducing positive habits during the day supports your circadian rhythm. Circadian rhythm is the body’s 24-hour cycles that make up our body’s internal clock which runs to carry out essential functions and processes. When properly aligned our circadian rhythm promotes consistent and restorative sleep. When it messed up it can create significant sleep problems such as insomnia.
- Get enough daylight – Light, particularly sunlight is one of the key components of circadian rhythms as they encourage quality of sleep.
- Physical Activity – Exercising and moving our body daily will make it easier to sleep at night. Exercising releases feel good hormones called serotonin and dopamine which will boost our mood and give you energy. Try not to exercise 1-2 hours before bed as it will release those hormones which could keep us awake for longer.
SELF-LOVE AND PRACTICING GRATITUDE
Self-talk is the inner voice that goes on inside our heads. Positive self-talk is when we can speak about ourselves in a kind and reassuring way. That is the difference from negative self-talk when we can often say “I’m stupid for failing a test” or “I’m always making mistakes”. Positive self-talk has a huge impact on how we think and feel. Engaging in positive self-talk overtime improves self-confidence; improves self-esteem, reduces stress and anxieties and can improve one’s overall health and wellbeing. As educators, counselors, parents and role-models we can have a huge role in helping children and young adults become more aware of self-love and its benefits.
6 strategies that we can use to practice and teach self-love with kids and young adults:
Positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive words that we can use to challenge and overcome negative thinking patterns. When we repeat them, we begin to believe them, positive changes within can happen. Positive affirmations are exercises to improve your mind, just like people carry out repetitive exercises to improve their physical health. Repetition of positive self-talk can reprogram our thinking patterns. In time, we can begin to think and act differently.
Positive affirmations can be used in any situation where we would like to see positive changes take place in your life. The power of affirmations is reciting them several times a day. As soon as you start to experience negative thoughts or negative self-talk, replace those thoughts with a positive affirmation. Affirmations need to be personal to us, and specific to what we want to change or achieve. Below are some examples for inspiration:
6 strategies that we can use to practice and teach self-love with kids and young adults:
- Model positive self-talk – Using positive self-talk aloud when speaking about ourselves and others is a simple way to start. Positive talk in the morning such as “Today is going to be a great day” or “I’m ready for whatever this day brings” sets a good precedence for the day. Its important to highlight the positives even in challenging situations. Giving young people genuine compliments freely is encouraging. Be optimistic as it is contagious, and it spreads to others!
- Create a list of positive affirmations – Here is a link to 101 positive thinking affirmations for children and young adults. Read through these lists, the young people can select ones that are meaningful to them and personalize their top 10 favorites. Having a premade list is a great way to start using self-talk daily.
- Discuss the benefits of positive self-talk – Be open about how it helps. Young people can be skeptical about self-affirmations as they think it might sound silly. Its our job to promote this and explain how practicing positive self-talk out loud can be strange, but we must change our words before our thoughts in our head can change.
- Get creative – Creating simple arts and crafts, stickers for our doors or mirrors displaying positive self-talk are great to give us that extra support. Sticking a positive note somewhere that we can read, so that when we are stressed or anxious is a great reminder to practice these affirmations!
- Talk about real life challenges – Talking about struggles or difficult situations either 1:1 or in small groups can be impactful. Asking questions like “What can we learn from this”, “What is a positive we can take from that” or “How could that help for the future”. Focusing on the positives instead of dwelling on the past or negative situations is important for building resilience. Setbacks and failures are a great time to focus on the positives, because these are the times we can feel the most down. Using positive self-talk in real life situations helps us to get back up and motivated again when faced with challenges. The goal is to promote a strong sense of accomplishment and confidence within our young people, allowing them to become autonomous and independent to reach their full potentials along the way.
Positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive words that we can use to challenge and overcome negative thinking patterns. When we repeat them, we begin to believe them, positive changes within can happen. Positive affirmations are exercises to improve your mind, just like people carry out repetitive exercises to improve their physical health. Repetition of positive self-talk can reprogram our thinking patterns. In time, we can begin to think and act differently.
Positive affirmations can be used in any situation where we would like to see positive changes take place in your life. The power of affirmations is reciting them several times a day. As soon as you start to experience negative thoughts or negative self-talk, replace those thoughts with a positive affirmation. Affirmations need to be personal to us, and specific to what we want to change or achieve. Below are some examples for inspiration:
- I AM ENOUGH JUST AS I AM
- I CAN DO THIS
- I AM LOVED
- I RADIATE LOVE
- MY BODY IS HEALTHY, MY MIND IS BRILLIANT
- I AM SUPERIOR TO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
- I AM CAPABLE OF AMAZING THINGS
- I CHOSE TO FOCUS WHAT I CAN CHANGE
- MY POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLES
- I AM BRAVE, BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL
- I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT I HAVE
- I BELIEVE IN MYSELF
- I LOVE MYSELF
- I AM FREE FROM WORRY AND REGRET
- TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY
Affirmation statements
Affirmation statements are specifically for targeting a certain area in our lives. They can be used to help us when we are struggling with thoughts or behaviors that we would like to change. Here are some tips that can help us write an affirmation statement.
Think about the certain area/behavior/thought we would like to change. For example, if we would like to become more productive or if we would like to become more compassionate. Write down a few notes on what we want to focus on. Make sure the points are in line with our core values and what is important to us as individuals, so we feel motivated to work on these.
Ensure our affirmation is achievable – Base it on facts, for instance if we are worried about an upcoming test or exam, we could use this affirmation statement to improve our confidence.
Negatives to positives – If we are struggling with negative self-talk such as “I’m so nervous for this test, I didn’t do well on my last test so I probably will fail this” write those thoughts down on a notepad. Then write an affirmation that is the opposite of that thought or belief.
Write down the affirmation in present tense – Write our affirmation as if its already happening such as “I am well prepared and confident for this exam – I am going to give a great presentation” is an excellent affirmation to use if we feel nervous of public speaking.
Say it with meaning – Affirmations are more effective when we say them with emotion. If we really want this change to happen, every affirmation you repeat should be meaningful to us.
Affirmation statements are specifically for targeting a certain area in our lives. They can be used to help us when we are struggling with thoughts or behaviors that we would like to change. Here are some tips that can help us write an affirmation statement.
Think about the certain area/behavior/thought we would like to change. For example, if we would like to become more productive or if we would like to become more compassionate. Write down a few notes on what we want to focus on. Make sure the points are in line with our core values and what is important to us as individuals, so we feel motivated to work on these.
Ensure our affirmation is achievable – Base it on facts, for instance if we are worried about an upcoming test or exam, we could use this affirmation statement to improve our confidence.
Negatives to positives – If we are struggling with negative self-talk such as “I’m so nervous for this test, I didn’t do well on my last test so I probably will fail this” write those thoughts down on a notepad. Then write an affirmation that is the opposite of that thought or belief.
Write down the affirmation in present tense – Write our affirmation as if its already happening such as “I am well prepared and confident for this exam – I am going to give a great presentation” is an excellent affirmation to use if we feel nervous of public speaking.
Say it with meaning – Affirmations are more effective when we say them with emotion. If we really want this change to happen, every affirmation you repeat should be meaningful to us.